Thoughts on movies

Saw No Country For Old Men (SPOILERS BELOW) last night, and along with Grindhouse, I can't remember liking two films this much in the same year. I'm an admitted Coen bros. junkie, and it's nice to see them return to drama after several years making relatively simple comedy.




It's also nice, though unsettling at first, to experience the departure from the Coen bros. norm that this film was. They abandoned their usually dialogue-heavy style in favor of extremely sparse dialogue, totally in keeping with the sparse landscape. Bravo, boys. Even with quiter films like Barton Fink, the dialogue wasn't THIS tangential to the tension. Here, what few snappy bits of dialogue were generally tossed in to lighten the mood a bit after a particularly harrowing scene, or to demonstrate weakness (Hi Woody).

A couple other thoughts-
I LOVED how they built up Woody Harrelson to be this bad motherfucker, and make you expect him to act all nice and then take the film to a whole new level of crazy, and then POW! 10 minutes later he's dead, and a total wuss about being dead. Awesome.

Loved the ending, that left the viewer as unsatisfied as Tommy Lee Jones. The world ain't formulaic- if it was, Jones would be able to understand the crime he's facing. Basically, the anti-Lord of the Rings approach.

Trailers:
City of Men looks awesome and all, but I gotta give credit the geniuses (perverts) who came up with TEETH.



UPDATE - I like to think that the casting director for Teeth had the easiest job in the world. Just use the Snakes on a Plane approach- by stating the three word premise (man-eating pussy), you could lure anyone you wanted for this film. Also, bravo IMDB for applying these tags. I think that list could be used as a barometer of humanity- and it speaks worlds about mine that I LOVE that list.

I forsee a fun-filled evening double feature of Machete/Teeth in my future.

Additional holiday treats

The Onion seems to have put most of its best writing into the shameless commerce division. Their merch has never been better. Consider the genius that is the fake gift boxes.
Or the beautiful simplicity of this.

A special holiday wish...

From special guest, Steve Martin.

Come On! Let's Boogie to the Elf Dance!

Ok, an update to my earlier item about Xmas music. The random Sufjan Xmas song to insert is Come On! Let's Boogie to the Elf Dance!

hijack a snowplow
clear out the streets
tell all the neighbors
there's cookies to eat

Now that's writing.

Apatow Powow

I admit, I haven't yet drank the Judd Apatow kool-aid. 40 yr virgin was ok, but didn't come close to the hype. As a result, I pretty much ignored knocked up and superbad.

That said, I got pretty excited immediately upon hearing about Walk Hard, if only because John C. Reilly's chance at a star turn in comedy is LONG overdue. He's the best part of every single movie he's ever been in.

In other Walk Hard news, this.

Photo request

Here you go, as requested, photos will be uploaded soon.

Hank Azaria is the best

Good clip from an interview on the process of creating a new character.
Essentially, all his characters are just slight variations of bad impersonations he does.
Love it.

Song of the moment: Hong Kong

I just discovered Gorillaz' track "Hong Kong". It's off one of those Help! benefit albums, which are almost universally terrible. I actually stumbled upon it while researching Damian Jurado of all people. Anyway, it's beautiful. Give a listen.

Holiday song wish list

Here's some songs that have yet to be made:

We Three Pimps
Jingle Crack Rock
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Alky
Cameltoe and Missiles (a tribute to the brave fighting women of our armed forces)
All I Want For Christmas is a $2 Whore.
Silent Snitch
Frosty the Pervert
I Jacked it to Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Get Behind Me, Santa!*






*Note: Sufjan did it

Happy Holidays for your ears

So I was hoping this post would be about my recent two weeks in Spain. Alas, I have yet to pick up the new hard drive that will allow uploading of teh pics. So that'll have to wait. Instead, I'd like to take a moment to discuss something that resulted upon my return.

Yep, it's December.

I left pre-thanksgiving, and returned on December 2. This means that I was jarred straight into pre-xmas hell on my return, with none of the build up. Holiday shopping PR is already in full on blitzkreig mode. The worst part about holiday shopping season is the fucking music. I have a lifelong hatred of Xmas music, and this hatred is at its most virulent when some company bastardizes the words to some terrible fucking song to hock more shit that no one needs.

With that in mind, here's my top 5 holiday songs, all-time:

Top 5 Xmas Songs

1. Christmas at the Zoo – The Flaming Lips
2. Happy Xmas (War is Over) – John Lennon
3. I’m Fucking Santa – Lady Raptastic
4. Insert random Sufjan holiday song here
5. I don’t know, Silent Night or White Christmas or some shit that I barely tolerate.
∞. Grandma Got Runover By A Reindeer
∞+1. Jingle Bell Rock (yes, the Arcade Fire version too)

Finally, here's my holiday wish list:
1. matchbox lexus with a bigass red ribbon (reigning champion wish from past three years)
2. post-diamond bj with none of the "actual" diamond guilt or debt. (New ad campaign: "Zales. That'll shut her up").
3. Radiohead tickets
4. Portable/waterproof Ipod speakers
5. Sick professional chef's knife kit or a professional saucier or something like that.

Rave: Sigur Ros

With their new album, Hvarf-Heim, which dropped Tuesday, Sigur Ros has, in my mind, seized the mantle of best band in the world from Radiohead. I'll reconsider this judgement in a few months, once I've had more time to let this album grow on me.

That said, never has so beautiful an album had so ugly a name. HVAAAAAAAAAAAAARF!!!

Anyway, go listen to this thing. It's incredible.

President Gon' Getcha

Try as I might to resist, I've been pulled back in by Dennis Kucinich's goofy, alien-believing craziness. I loved him in '04, and I love him now.
Hat tip to Rebecca Traister @ Salon for this link: Take the quiz, and hop aboard Kucinich's magic love barrel, careening off the waterfall of political suicide!

Dick in a Pandora's Box

My birthday came a couple days early this year, as Easy Eddie announced that he wants a full audit of the Philadelphia Parking Authority. Is there a single person in Philly that would be against this? Besides the PPA staff, of course, but they scarcely qualify as human.

Mystery Solved!

An idea came up recently to use this space to create a catalogue of all the rebus puzzles that are to be found on the reverse side of lionshead bottle caps.

Luckily, the interwebs are WAY ahead of me.

So, go here to learn the full story behind the rebus as drinking game, and see the answer to any that have been sticking around, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.

Bless these beautiful dorks.

Bio Cleanup in Aisle 2

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Williams College, the #1 college in America.
Oh, and on a totally unrelated note, this is fucking hilarious.

Didn't think I could stoop to an Autism joke, did you?

Hey hey! House of Joy!

Ok. Let’s begin with a quick aside: I spend WAY too much time perusing gossip news sites like The Smoking Gun. Most of the time, my searches end in disappointment, and an existential feeling of emptiness and guilt at time lost.

This is NOT one of those times.

Make sure you watch the video (safe for work)… it’s 4:25 of serious schadenfreude.

Side note – if you check out the bottom of page 6 to the top of page 7, you’ll note that this guy’s wife performs as a clown named “Smilee”. You can’t make this stuff up.

Radiohead

Yupyupyup.
They've done it again. After enduring years of hype and rumors, and a frustrating inability to ever get tickets to a live show, Radiohead dropped/leaked their new album, In Rainbows tuesday, and, uh, yeah. It's great. Big fucking surprise.

Go to http://www.inrainbows.com/ to download the whole thing, guilt-free. Feel free to pay whatever you like of course.

YES!!!

this is LONG overdue.



And it'll never be enforced, but still. Bravo.

Easy Eddie

Saw the gov yesterday @ his office @ the Bellevue. He's looking well.

Feist - 1 2 3 4

Yes, I'm sure you've already seen this. Still, put down your nano and give it another look. It's great.

Mostly though, I put it up here so that I can watch it whenever I want without having to look around for it.

I Heart FALCON

H/T to Philebrity (link at right) for pointing this out. Behold, FALCON!
This is the best government branding since the Mountain Lion family of vigilance and readiness, from the Dept. of Homeland Security.
FALCON seriously sounds like something out of a Police Academy movie.

Incidentally, check out Hector Hummingbird-- did they think we wouldn't notice?

SEPTA to everyone: Fuck You

Just three months after taking the city's legislative representatives hostage, SEPTA is again announcing another round of fare increases, again, despite the $150,000,000 bail out it got from the state.

Background - they got that payment due to the hard work of political reps who would have been publically horsewhipped had they allowed SEPTA to do away with its paper transfers, which make navigating Philly to get from many low-income areas of the city to those areas that, you know, HAVE JOBS. No paper transfer = no get to work. How this helps the city, I have no idea. Luckily, they fixed the situation with a nice fat extortion payment. Then SEPTA announced the death of transfers anyway. It took a court order to keep transfers in use.

Now SEPTA's back, with this genius plan: "The latest proposal would increase the price of a token to $1.45 from the current $1.30 and the price of a transfer to 75 cents from the current 60 cents. The cash fare would remain $2 - one of the nation's highest." (thanks Inqy - link fuction still broken)

Now, SEPTA counters complaints that the working folks who rely on daily SEPTA transit should buy monthly passes. At about $80 a pop, that's just not realistic for many low-income families and individuals who live week-to-week budgetwise. It's also not sensible for someone who works several part-time jobs in different locations, some of which may be accessible by walking.

SEPTA is averse to raising fares for regional travel, since they squeezed those folks a few months ago with the initial fare increase. SEPTA is simply wrong. The riders' burden must be borne by those with the most capacity, and those are the regional riders.

Failing that, how about a plan similar to CHIP? Make monthly transpasses available at no cost or a discount for people based on income. They'd have to figure out a way to avoid folks selling their transpasses for stuff like, well, food. It can't be an impossibility. Implement that and I'd be happy to pay an extra $5 a month for my transpass. $10 extra if they use the extra Lincoln to mop the floors more than once a decade.

Late Late Late Adopter Club: Spiritualized – Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space

Yesterday I was reading this 10 year retrospective piece (can't link just now for some reason, but it's called "It Was 10 Years Ago Today") in the Onion AV Club about how 1997 was a remarkable year for music. I instantly thought of OK Computer, of course, but was really taken aback by the sheer quantity of amazing albums that came out that year. Portishead’s eponymous album only garnered an honorable mention, for pete’s sake (though I’d have had it a lot higher).

I constantly view my past through the lens of music, and I have to say, 1997 was a pretty crappy year for me, musically speaking. I had stupidly abandoned Radiohead following the gross overplaying of “High and Dry” by MTV, and thus wouldn’t really discover OK Computer for another two years (thank you Matt). In fact, as I think back, it’s tough to remember what the hell I was listening to. A lot of Miles Davis and Elvis Costello, I think. Which isn’t a knock, those two are immortals, but since my eye was trained on the past, I missed out on all kinds of great shit that was happening in the NOW.

OK Computer aside, #2 on the list, Lonesome Crowded West also stayed off my radar until post-2000, and in fact I only really got into it about six months ago. I think the more accessible stuff on Modest Mouse’s new album, which I LOVE, trained my ear for the more-challenging LCW. And I definitely know that Doin’ the Cockroach is my favorite Modest Mouse song ever.

Then there’s #5 – I can hear the heart beating as one, Yo La Tengo. Another of my top five, desert island albums (along w/ OK Computer), and possibly my favorite album of all time. And another I didn’t get into until at least a year post-release. God I was a dork. I guess I just didn’t know what to do with myself (rimshot).

So what was the end result of this whole experience? A lot of self-reflection, and shame. But that’s not all – because while I was already very familiar with most of the albums on the Onion’s list, #6, Spriritualized, was a complete mystery. Quite simply, I had never heard, nor heard of this band, let alone this album. So I gave it a shot. And I can’t fucking get it out of my head. This is a GREAT album. And I am a BAD music snob for never having heard it.

I wonder if, in 2014, when global warming has us all living on mountaintops and commuting via solar-powered flying cars, whether 2004 will be looked at similarly?

Gin-U-Wine Hero

I talk a lot of shit on SEPTA. Between the unreliability, the surliness, the racism, and the smell, there's an awful lot not to like. But even I have to give credit where credit is due, and this dude is one AmEx Platinum Mofo. What do you want to bet that, even as he tore ass away from the scene, some dipshit passenger pulled the cord for his stop and got pissed when the driver wouldn't stop.

So Bravo, Malcolm. You can sideswipe my (imaginary) Prius any day.

side note - would this make him...

From the desk of shut the fuck up

As you may have heard, Pennsylvania is planning on putting a four day damper on gun purchases, while they make long overdue upgrades to the state tracking system. Gun rights advocates are expectedly pissed, considering this yet another example of liberal Philadelphia pissing on the 2nd amendment. Their primary complaint is that the no-gun window will fall right around Labor Day, aka the start of hunting season. Apparently, Jim Bob likes to buy a new shotgun each year, and it's just not the same to do it a week early. It'd be like getting your birthday present a day early. No fun at all.

Get this (from Philly Inquirer this morning, by staff writer Angela Couloumbis - sorry, something's wrong w/ blogger's web linking capacity this morning):
House Majority Leader Bill DeWeese, a Western Pennsylvania Democrat who is a gun-rights advocate, put it this way: "I believe that this is a moment of administrative maladroitness on the part of the chain of command.

"I would be stupefied if there was a sinister cabal within the Rendell administration to engender mischief," he said, adding that he believed Scarnati was "just enjoying what he considers a delicious opportunity to foment the L word."

First off, I'm impressed that a gun rights nut correctly drops a maladroitness on us. But then he adds "sinister cabal" and "engender mischief"... How exactly does one "engender mischief", by fucking Bart Simpson? He simply falls off a cliff with that "foment the L word"... dude needs to put down the girl-girl porn.

Look, I agree that the timing on the gun freeze wasn't particularly smart, nor sensitive to the gun lust requirements of hunters. To which I say: so fucking what. State government and law enforcement involves massive bureaucracy, and planning something like this necessarily makes choosing a perfect timeline difficult. It's a low priority, and fucking should be.

So hunters- chill the fuck out, and either use last year's AK to gun down Bambi, or buy your 8 year old his first rifle a week early, and stow that shit until the big day. It's just that simple.

Finally, a reason to hate James Blunt a little less

Ok, very little, as the song is still garbage. But that little floating triangle dude is awesome.

Take that, Sharia!

'Murrica done got our own justice. No more due process. No more bill of rights. Behold, the Bat of Justice!

Yup. A new* TV courtroom show, and this one makes Judge Judy look like fucking Shari Lewis. It's "Eye for an Eye," apparently airing in Philadelphia on the WB at 3 AM. Don't let that fool you though, this show is bound to be a sensation. The premise is obvious - a judge hears redneck idiots argue about some drunken bullshit, and then makes a ruling. The punishment, however, isn't monetary compensation, but instead, yes, direct retribution. So if some jackass breaks your windshield for sleepin' with his baby momma, you get to smash in his windshield. You see what happens Larry? The Bat of Justice happens.

I love this show. I haven't seen it yet, and I love it.

Did I mention Kato Kaelin is the host? What if I told you that the judge is named "Extreme Akim"? Is that something you'd be interested in?

Not me, particularly. I'm mostly interested in the Bat of Justice. Which, in case you didn't check out the link above, they're SELLING ON THEIR WEBSITE. I give the over/under on two months before someone commits a murder with this thing, and this show gets sued like crazy. Maybe the suit can be heard as part of the show, they can rule against themselves, and the family of the murder victim can bring retribution on Kato, the judge, the producers, hell, everyone involved. It'd be like a Shakespearian play-within-a-play, only with fewer teeth. Advantage: Bat of Justice.

Next step: Sledgehammer Court.

*note - this thing apparently has been around for like 3 years. Who knew? The greatest trick the Bat of Justice ever pulled, was convincing the world it didn't exist.

Now entering brokesville. Population: me

I'm late in getting to this, and I have no excuse. I've just started perusing the ridiculously rich and massive collection of music being reissued by Hip-O Select , under the moniker "The Complete Motown Singles."

Each set covers a year of motown at its peak, and as far as I can tell, each is easily worth the lofty price tag. Oh dear. If I had to choose one, and only one, so far 1967 would win out. Apparently, I'm not alone. I consider it a massive personal failing that I am only just now getting into this stuff. Yeah, I'd always loved the favorites, but the fact that, until today, I had never given the Four Tops' "Bernadette" a serious listen is just a crime.

I intend to make up for lost time, and probably lose my wallet along the way.

Of course, Kenny Gamble is in the early stages of reissuing all the old Philly Sound soul, which I have always loathed, but, honestly, have never given a fair shake. I've learned my lesson. Kenny, bring it on. I'll give it another, more honest try.

Best of Philly: People Edition

If you haven't read the City Paper's cover story yet today, shame on you. It highlights some of the best humans we share space with, and it's a great read.

The piece on Andy Dyson is particularly good - I consider it a priviledge to know him, and I'm continually amazed at how much he gets it. Even though I prefer to walk.

And I'd be remiss not to weigh in on the Bob Koch piece. Best deli ever. The #1 thing I miss about West Philadelphia. Yes, I moved to the Italian Market, which offers great options like Sarcone's and DiBruno, but no one will ever live up to the perfection of Koch's. Not in New York, not in Philly. I wasn't a fan of the writing in this piece, but the assessment was spot on - it's still the best.

Birdshot: Budos Band, Go! Team, Grunge Zombies

BU-Dos, Budos Band, Budosbudosbudos Band
This past friday, I went to see the Budos Band play at the World Cafe Live.
World Cafe, operated by XPN, is a venue on which I am very conflicted. In a nutshell...

The Good:
Fantastic sound quality (esp. downstairs), great beer selection, cleverly designed spaces with lots of nooks and crannies, interesting artwork, central to downtown/easy to walk to from most of the city.

The Bad:
HORRIBLE acts 95% of the time. Not a big surprise given the link to XPN, which was spayed/neutered about 15 years ago. Lots of pretentious middle aged showgoers, lots of sitting around, not lots of dancing.

So, with that in mind, I arrived with low expectations... I was really excited to see Budos, who I've hyped in this space as an Africanized Morphine, but worried that the crowd would remain seated and indifferent to their infectious grooves. The result? The band is as advertised, though with quite a bit of Ska, and quite a bit of repetitiveness, and less funk than I initially thought. Very fun to dance to, if you (like me), were one of the 30 people who cleared out a small area up front to shake it. They had a ton of energy, and were clearly having a ball. Seeing a band having a ton of fun together is perhaps more infectious than good beats. They had both, and I was happy. That said, I strongly doubt the band's staying power. Without lyrics, you need to have some pretty broad range in your sound (see: Davis, Miles), or else all your songs start sounding the same (see G, Kenny). I fear that Budos may wind up in the same pile with late-term Ska, or, to be brutally honest, the Squirrel Nut Zippers.

The Go! Team
They are coming. We cannot get out.
10/26 at the Starlight Ballroom (aka the Bar-mitzvah Dome).
Big ups to R5 productions for securing the Go! Team again on this their second go-round of the U.S. Last year's show, also at Starlight, was without a doubt the highlight of the show calendar 2006, and I couldn't be more excited for this show. Double props to R5 for keeping the show affordable at $12.

Grunge Zombies will kill us all
Look, I understand that fashion is cyclical. That there's only so much one can do with a pair of jeans. I enjoyed, for a time, the 70's revival, with lots of browns and oranges, Ben Wallace's afro, bands playing organs again, and the fuzz guitar stylings of Kasabian. Then the industry moved on, and attempted to foist skinny black jeans and oversized sweaters on us again. And it fucking worked. Look people, skinny black jeans are fucking terrible. NO ONE looks good in them. And your new wave haircut? You might as well tattoo "douche" to your forehead. But hey, at least we got something good out of the 80's revival. We got The Knife. I've been joking for a while that the inevitable next step is a grunge revival. And with a sighting of Eddie Vedder last week, riding Dennis Rodman like a goddamn giraffe, the writing was on the wall. Well, as of this morning, the writing is literally on the wall.

Yup. Get ready for Nirvana cover bands at the Manayunk Brew Pub, and lots of girls not showing their breasts.

Fuck.

Friday's Reason for Optimism

Tertiate reasons to be happy today:


1) The Budos Band. This shit is slicker than a Dave Matthews Band tourbus. Except, unlike DMB, it doesn't suck. It's like an Africanized version of Morphine (the band, you junkie), with just a touch of ska thrown in (in a good way, I swear). They play tonight at World Cafe.


2) Exploding pigeons*. This morning, as I walked to work, I passed a swarm of pigeons chowing down at the corner of 9th and Washington. Their bounty? Someone's discarded sticky rice. A whole quart of it. As you probably know, throwing rice at weddings has been banned in most urban settings, because, well... it makes pigeons blow the fuck up. And that, my friends, is a good thing. Thank you, neighbors.


3) KEXP (see link to the left), early on a friday morning, streaming distortion-free through good Sennheiser headphones, and most of the Philly working world on summer rules regarding fridays - that is - NO WORK ALLOWED. And you know this, man!





*yes, this is naught but myth. Dammit - it's summer in Philly - I have neither time nor patience for "facts"

They're Happy...

These just came across my desk. I have NOTHING to add.
Amazing. And yes, these are all real.

Graduate School: pros and cons

Pro: Mo' Money
Con: Mo' Money, Mo' Problems
Edge: Pro. only a seriously rich fucker would write a song like that

Pro: R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Con: Debt. Stamps: $0.47ea, Application Fee: $50, GRE exam: $140, Tuition: $40,000
Edge: Pro. Or are you anti-freedom?

Pro: No dress code
Con: Down with homework!
Edge: Con. More homework = less drinking

Pro: Sleep late
Con: Stay up late
Edge: Pro. Sleep late = more drinking. Hmmmm....

Pro: Get to associate with recent college graduates (female)
Con: Must associate with recent college graduates (male)
Edge: Con. (plays engaged card)

Pro: Grades don’t matter
Con: Probably expected to remember shit you forgot a long time ago, like arithmetic
Edge: Con. Wasn’t forgetting long division the whole point of all that ganj?

Pro: Letters after your name
Con: Letters after name = need new business cards
Edge: Pro. More letters = bigger man.

Pro: Networking possibilities
Con: Less time possible for internetworking (aka pRon)
Edge: Con. (throws boobies. nothing beats boobies)

Pro: Sexy librarians
Con: Actual librarians
Edge: Pro. (ibid.)

Pro: Finally get to root for a Division I basketball team
Con: Graduate institution’s basketball team also sucks
Edge: Pro. More sports watching = more… well, you know.

Pro: A mind is a terrible thing to waste
Con: Time is an even worse thing to waste
Edge: Con.

Final Score: Pro 6, Con 5.

A Chicken in Every Pot and a Child in Every E.R.

Looks like President Bush is just about ready to Veto legislation that would provide expand funding for the State Children’s Health Insurance Program which provides health insurance at no- or low-cost to children of families that otherwise couldn’t afford it. Of course, health insurance is pretty expensive, in part because people who do not receive the preventative care that can keep them from developing expensive-to-treat chronic diseases later in life. They don’t receive preventative care, because, well, they have no health insurance, and have to rely on the ER for care.

Given how expensive covering kids would be, how would we pay for it? Well, by raising the cigarette tax. Makes sense to me, given the huge cost incurred by smokers on the nation’s Medicare system (funded by you and me). But not to Bush.

Apparently, he’d prefer to keep millions of kids out of care, so that they grow up with brains damaged by lead poisoning, unable to secure decent jobs except – surprise! – in the armed forces*. Of course, while those kids are waiting for hours in the ER for care, why not have them enjoy a refreshing, tasty Camel?

* not in any way meant as a slight to our fighting men and women, merely a statement of fact that the armed forces is one of the US’s employment safety nets. Much like prison and drug dealing, only less violent.

Send lawyers, guns, and Elmo?

Looking for a fun, family activity for this weekend?

Have you considered Sesame Place? No? What, do you hate freedom?

The only thing more American than overpriced theme parks smelling vaguely of urine is the 2nd Amendment.

Charlton Heston, also smelling of urine.

And the NRA is to the 2nd Amendment what Sesame Place is to family fun.

That's right. Right now, if you go to the NRA's website and donate funds, you can get free passes to Sesame Place. Of course, the tickets weren't purchased by NRA, but donated by Anheuser-Busch, which owns Sesame Place. Cause, after all, what's family fun and guns without booze? A day without sunshine, that's what.

Yes, no, yes.

Of course, Coors' right wing leanings have been well documented (even if the depth of their evil has been a bit exaggerated), but I wasn't aware that the makers of Budweiser also support the gun lobby. What will they say when they see their poster boy happily promoting a (shudder) craft brewer?

Side note: Flying Fish Farmhouse Summer Ale (pictured) is delicious.

So, your options for this weekend are clear:

Donate to the NRA, buy some Bud, and go to Sesame Place to work on your ulcer.

Donate to the FCNL, buy some Farmhouse, and go to the beach to oogle some boogles.

I trust you'll make the right decision.

YES!!!

The best thing I've seen in weeks.
For me, this is better than football in the groin. It's gold.

I'm a bad person.

Bravo, Prince Charles

It's nice to see that even royalty can be human.

Friday's Reason for Optimism

This week's reason for optimism comes a day early as I'll be away from the PC tomorrow.

Thanks to Kelvin for this fantastic link.

Nice to know that, even in the wake of a zombie takover, when the rest of us are nothing but food, the turtles will be taken care of.

Seriously- Haley Joel Douchebag has a movie deal and this kid doesn't? That is a crime. Wes Craven - sign this kid up for Little Monsters II. Either that or The Reaping II.

So close...

Perusing cnn.com just now, and their latest news section had, back to back these two stories:

Story the first.
Story the second.

Of course, with the links back to back, my pre-coffee brain interpreted that yes, the Spice Girls had died in a fiery crash.


Rats.

Politics killed the radio star

Today is the online radio day of silence, to spur protest of recent copyright royalty board decision that would make online streaming of radio difficult beyond practical means of most listener supported public radio stations. Personally, I've never been a big fan of "Day of Silence" style protests. Seems that communication is the best way to reach understanding, and the odds that a lot of people notice anyone not talking seems low. But the cause is certainly good, and if they feel this is a useful expression of protest, who am I to judge. The important thing to do, whether you agree w/ shutting down the i-airwaves for a day or not, is to call/write/effigyburn your elected representatives and let them know that while they can take our lives, they cannot take our Freedom.

More information and resources here. And here.

Looking Indiana, feeling Arizona

Check it out...

It’s been known for a while that a fourth installment of Indiana Jones was in production, and I’ve reserved pre-judgement until now. Last Thursday, Harrison Ford got into costume for the first time in 18 (!) years, and the film’s website captured the “action”.

Yes, this is a cash grab on par with reunion shows such as those of the Pixies and the Police. Folks who, as teenagers used to love Pixies/Police in their primes are now in their 30s/40s, married w/ children, but not so old that they don’t want to rock, albeit at a safe, seated show w/ a big jumbotron. Likewise, folks who were in the target demographic - little kids - when the Indy franchise launched are now in their late 20s, and while we might not want to shell out $150 for a 300 level ticket to watch Sting’s rippling muscles (enjoy, ladies), we sure as hell can afford $10 for a movie ticket. In other words, regardless of the exact original target demographic, there’s money to be made. They’ve realized that their former audience is feelin’ nostalgic and newly flush with capital, and have stood up to meet our demand. If this stuff is poor art, or bad for society, the problem ain’t Hollywood/TimeWarner, it is us.

And you know what? That Pixies reunion kicked ass. From all reports, so does the current Police one. So I’m setting aside the sarcasm, laying down the indie fan rockist hipster dbag mantle, and listening to my inner child: the kid who first saw Indy melt Nazis’ faces and get the girl and decided that Archaeology might be fun is still in here somewhere, and he wants more Indy, even if Indy wears Depends.

Plus, Ray Winstone (aka Gal) and John Hurt (aka “Oh no, not again”) are on board. In my book, that counts for a lot. Thus, this will earn my full recommendation, and while I’ll allow that it may suck, I’m going in with good expectations and excitement. Plan is for the film to open 5/22/08.

No, Hillary, NO!!!!

Hillary Clinton announced her presidential campaign song.
It's not exactly "Don't Stop Believin'"
yep. It's Celine.
Celine Freaking Dion.
The song was chosen via an open vote, beating finalists Shania Twain, U2, and Smashmouth.

Smashmouth?!

Off the top of my head, here's some songs that would have been a better choice:

1) ANY other song
2) No song.

Just for fun, here's my top presidential campaign theme songs. Add yours in the comments.


8. Hail to the Thief - Radiohead (kidding)
7. The Big Payback - James Brown (reserved for Al Gore should he ever get elected)
6. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta - Geto Boys
5. It's the end of the world as we know it - REM
4. Motion Movement - Blue Scholars
3. Huddle Formation - The Go! Team
2. War Pigs - I'd get Flaming Lips to perform their live cover
#1 with a bullet. Wake Up - Arcade Fire

South Philly = Rhodes, cont...

So, you remember the previously posted here story about a pack of frothing idiots who think putting a couple 400 ft. towers at Broad and Washington will revitalize South Philadelphia.

Well, the same developer who wants to build those big steel phalli also annexed an entire sidewalk along South Street next to his nearly completed enormous eyesore monument to gentrification. To build a diabled access ramp for the 1st floor shops. That actually more closely resembles a terrace. That people in wheelchairs can't access, because, well, the sidewalk is too narrow for wheelchairs. Because of the access ramp this idiot built. Without zoning approval. Do yourself a favor: don't read those sentences again, or think about them too much - it can cause brain damage.

Of course, brain damage would qualify you for a seat on Philadelphia's city council, right down the row from Frank DiCicco, spokesman for hubristic developers everywhere.

In short,

DiCicco = dickbag.

Samir Benakmoume = Napoleon w/ a smaller penis and more VD.

Streets Department = chickenshit.

Wheelchair bound people = fucked.

South Street and 13th = deathtrap.

Rich, white tenants of the good ship = happy w/ a terrace (ramp) that they'll probably never use, cause then they'd have to sit within view of people who have a different skin tone than them.

A treat for all manner of dorks

Do your inner child a favor and watch this.

Perfect. Just perfect. Even the horribly filmed ending worked for me.

My favorite part? The snake.

Yes, I will now spend my entire evening amongst the legos. Did I mention I'm 29?

Arcade Soundsystem

Yup. According to pitchfork, LCD Soundsystem and Arcade Fire will be touring together this fall.

Only one date announced thus far, out in LA. Suffice to say that I would slap yo grammama, right in front of you, for tickets to this. More later once show dates are released.

Friday's Reason for Optimism

Cheer up!

Scientists at the University of Oregon just discovered that giving to charity feels gooooooooood. They're publishing the results in this months issue of Science.

Try it out. Grab yer checkbook, pick out a suitable partner (Planned Parenthood, maybe?) and wait for the Philanthrorgasm to crash over you.

South Philly = Rhodes

Whoo hoo!

Apparently, my 'hood is about to become the fancy, bona fide doorway to center city that everyone wants it to be.

Wait, did I say everyone? I meant, ALMOST NO ONE.

Notice that this collossal monument of hubris is brought to you by none other than Frank DiCicco, local councilman. This is precisely my problem w/ DiCicco. He's blatantly pro-business, pro-development, pro-whatever will line his district and pockets with more $. And he is so at the expense of the opinions of the people he represents.

While there's nothing at all wrong with being pro-casino, or pro-development, or pro-this-new-project, having that stance when it directly conflicts with the overwhelming majority of the people you represent is NOT ok. It's not democracy. Yes, he later changed course on the casino deal, but never forget that he was one of the biggest proponents of the deal at first. I can imagine him changing his stance on this come next election cycle, but meanwhile everything he's done since the election demonstrates his total disdain for his constituency. He's a piece of shit.

And, speaking of pieces of shit...
Fear not, young Fado dwellers! Roofie coolattas are back on the menu.

Here endeth the rant.

Foodies on vacation

I just discovered a pretty durn cool resource. The US Department of Agriculture maintains a map that lists farmer's markets all across this great nation of ours. While I'm sure that it's information is far from complete or up-to-date, it's still a nice development.

Planning a trip to New Mexico? Now with the click of a mouse you can get an idea where you might pick up some fresh local huitlacoche. A lot of the listings even have phone #s you can call beforehand to find out hours of operation, which, although listed, are probably not very current.

This would make a fantastic Food Network show- a big ol' road trip from market to market, hanging with local farmers and tasting what's good from week to week, from place to place. Of course, if such a show ever happened, it would no doubt include Rachael Ray and square dance lessons. Much like the 8th circle of hell.

Foodie Report - Tequila's

Tequila's, at 16th and Locust.
Went there today for lunch. Nice place. Really nice staff. Although service was a bit slow, it was actually kind of a nice change of pace compared to the usual center city rush job.

Highlights- Two words, people: Grasshopper tacos. I didn't get them only cause it was a work lunch and I feared offending folks. I am 100% positive they're delicious though. They were a special, so I'm curious how often these sweet sweet babies are available. Other highlights - nice decorations and ENORMOUS portions, each nearly big enough for 2. excellent black bean soup, served w/ queso fresco, bacon, and onions. Really good limes. Cool bathrooms.

Lowlights- Mediocre ceviche (overcooked), underspiced sauces, very not ripe tomatoes in the pico de gallo, mole dishes underspiced and overcooked.

Overall- not nearly as good as some of the nuevo latino places, nor as good as Las Cazuelas. But definitely a fun, nice place- has an AMAZING booze selection (all the varieties of hangar one vodka, plus what I've heard is the best tequila selection in the city). Would be good to go w/ a group who feel like boozin' and sharing those huge portions.

I'll give it 2.5 Jiminy Cricket Enchiladas out of 4.