Happy New Term

Yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah

If you could blow up the world

With the flick of a switch

Would you do it?

(Yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah)

If you could make everybody poor

Just so you could be rich

Would you do it?

(Yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah)

If you could watch everybody work

While you just lay on your back

Would you do it?

(Yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah)

If you could take all the love

Without giving any back

Would you do it?

(Yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah)

And so we cannot know ourselves

Or what we'd really do

With all your power

With all your power

With all your power

What would you do?

With all your power

With all your power

With all your power

What would you do?

(No no no no, no no no no)

If you could make your own money

And then give it to everybody

Would you do it?

(No no no no, no no no no)

If you knew all the answers

And could give to the masses

Would you do it?

(No no no no, no no no no)

Are you crazy?

It's a very dangerous thing to do

Exactly what you want

Because you cannot know yourself,

Or what you'd really do

With all your power

With all your power

With all your power

What would you do?

Friday's Reason For Optimism

Hillary might be about to concede.

Last night, Hillary Clinton finally let her testicles down, relaxing with reporters which downing scotch.


You know emo dude is totally gonna tap that shit, bro.

Chin Up

Yes, Hillary is still in the race, and many think that'll hurt the Dems come the general election.

And yes, McCain is looking stronger than ever, and I grow more and more terrified with each passing day.

But all is not lost, and Arcade Fire, the poster boys for youthful optimism in the face of overwhelming fear and loathing, are coming soon to rock out North Cackalacky. The best part? The shows are free, and are get out the vote rallies for Obama.

I'm moved to recall the words of David Rees, following the disastrous 2004 election:

"CHIN UP. We're smarter than those motherfuckers.
We can learn more quickly than those motherfuckers.
We can be more ruthless than those motherfuckers.
We can be some six-million-dollar motherfuckers ourselves.

Chin up. We're more American than those motherfuckers.
We're more responsible than those motherfuckers.
We're more compassionate than those motherfuckers.
Hell, our atheists are more Christian than their Bible-thumpin' motherfuckers.
There's an election in two years. There's nothing we can't do.
Chin up. Because it's on, motherfuckers. It is on."

Democracy at its best

It's been a long time since the primaries continue to hold relevance this late in the season, and I think it's safe to say that Pennsylvania is pretty fired up. As a still-undecided Democrat, I'm enjoying every thoughtful, respect-laden exchange of ideas with my peers, as daily I discover new angles to comparing the candidates Obama and Clinton.

And I'm not alone... the system works! The Greeks would be so proud. This is the face of Democracy, where the mob holds the power.
The angry, drunken mob.

Bless the mob!

President Gon' Getcha

Try as I might to resist, I've been pulled back in by Dennis Kucinich's goofy, alien-believing craziness. I loved him in '04, and I love him now.
Hat tip to Rebecca Traister @ Salon for this link: Take the quiz, and hop aboard Kucinich's magic love barrel, careening off the waterfall of political suicide!

Dick in a Pandora's Box

My birthday came a couple days early this year, as Easy Eddie announced that he wants a full audit of the Philadelphia Parking Authority. Is there a single person in Philly that would be against this? Besides the PPA staff, of course, but they scarcely qualify as human.

A Chicken in Every Pot and a Child in Every E.R.

Looks like President Bush is just about ready to Veto legislation that would provide expand funding for the State Children’s Health Insurance Program which provides health insurance at no- or low-cost to children of families that otherwise couldn’t afford it. Of course, health insurance is pretty expensive, in part because people who do not receive the preventative care that can keep them from developing expensive-to-treat chronic diseases later in life. They don’t receive preventative care, because, well, they have no health insurance, and have to rely on the ER for care.

Given how expensive covering kids would be, how would we pay for it? Well, by raising the cigarette tax. Makes sense to me, given the huge cost incurred by smokers on the nation’s Medicare system (funded by you and me). But not to Bush.

Apparently, he’d prefer to keep millions of kids out of care, so that they grow up with brains damaged by lead poisoning, unable to secure decent jobs except – surprise! – in the armed forces*. Of course, while those kids are waiting for hours in the ER for care, why not have them enjoy a refreshing, tasty Camel?

* not in any way meant as a slight to our fighting men and women, merely a statement of fact that the armed forces is one of the US’s employment safety nets. Much like prison and drug dealing, only less violent.

Send lawyers, guns, and Elmo?

Looking for a fun, family activity for this weekend?

Have you considered Sesame Place? No? What, do you hate freedom?

The only thing more American than overpriced theme parks smelling vaguely of urine is the 2nd Amendment.

Charlton Heston, also smelling of urine.

And the NRA is to the 2nd Amendment what Sesame Place is to family fun.

That's right. Right now, if you go to the NRA's website and donate funds, you can get free passes to Sesame Place. Of course, the tickets weren't purchased by NRA, but donated by Anheuser-Busch, which owns Sesame Place. Cause, after all, what's family fun and guns without booze? A day without sunshine, that's what.

Yes, no, yes.

Of course, Coors' right wing leanings have been well documented (even if the depth of their evil has been a bit exaggerated), but I wasn't aware that the makers of Budweiser also support the gun lobby. What will they say when they see their poster boy happily promoting a (shudder) craft brewer?

Side note: Flying Fish Farmhouse Summer Ale (pictured) is delicious.

So, your options for this weekend are clear:

Donate to the NRA, buy some Bud, and go to Sesame Place to work on your ulcer.

Donate to the FCNL, buy some Farmhouse, and go to the beach to oogle some boogles.

I trust you'll make the right decision.

Politics killed the radio star

Today is the online radio day of silence, to spur protest of recent copyright royalty board decision that would make online streaming of radio difficult beyond practical means of most listener supported public radio stations. Personally, I've never been a big fan of "Day of Silence" style protests. Seems that communication is the best way to reach understanding, and the odds that a lot of people notice anyone not talking seems low. But the cause is certainly good, and if they feel this is a useful expression of protest, who am I to judge. The important thing to do, whether you agree w/ shutting down the i-airwaves for a day or not, is to call/write/effigyburn your elected representatives and let them know that while they can take our lives, they cannot take our Freedom.

More information and resources here. And here.

No, Hillary, NO!!!!

Hillary Clinton announced her presidential campaign song.
It's not exactly "Don't Stop Believin'"
yep. It's Celine.
Celine Freaking Dion.
The song was chosen via an open vote, beating finalists Shania Twain, U2, and Smashmouth.

Smashmouth?!

Off the top of my head, here's some songs that would have been a better choice:

1) ANY other song
2) No song.

Just for fun, here's my top presidential campaign theme songs. Add yours in the comments.


8. Hail to the Thief - Radiohead (kidding)
7. The Big Payback - James Brown (reserved for Al Gore should he ever get elected)
6. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta - Geto Boys
5. It's the end of the world as we know it - REM
4. Motion Movement - Blue Scholars
3. Huddle Formation - The Go! Team
2. War Pigs - I'd get Flaming Lips to perform their live cover
#1 with a bullet. Wake Up - Arcade Fire