Showing posts with label your next president. Show all posts
Showing posts with label your next president. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Statement of Purpose

Vote or die, motherfuckers.

"CHIN UP.
We’re smarter than those motherfuckers.
We can learn more quickly than those motherfuckers.
We can be more ruthless than those motherfuckers.
We can be some six-million-dollar motherfuckers ourselves.

Chin up.
We’re more American than those motherfuckers.
We’re more responsible than those motherfuckers.
We’re more compassionate than those motherfuckers.
Hell, our atheists are more Christian than their Bible-thumpin’ motherfuckers.

There’s an election in two years (make that TODAY).
There’s nothing we can’t do.
Chin up.
Because it’s on, motherfuckers.
It is on.

Friday, May 30, 2008

More fun w/ Drunken Hillary

Friday's Reason For Optimism

Hillary might be about to concede.

Last night, Hillary Clinton finally let her testicles down, relaxing with reporters which downing scotch.


You know emo dude is totally gonna tap that shit, bro.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Why McCain will win

This is what I've been so scared of. McCain is calling for a mid-summer gas-tax holiday.

Most Americans are greedy, simple people. While I'd argue that HIGHER gas taxes is what we need, McCain will appeal to their sense of immediate self-gratification with his mid-summer gas tax holiday (will there be hallmark cards? Parades of SUVs? Sweet rave parties with sexy gasoline fights like in Zoolander?).

"All these tax increases are the fine print under the slogan of 'hope:' They're going to raise your taxes by thousands of dollars per year — and they have the audacity to hope you don't mind."

Messaging like that is why Republicans are better at politics than Dems.

"McCain twice voted against the very tax cuts he now supports; he says failing to extend them would amount to tax increases for millions of people."

Welcome to the pit, Johnny Mac! You've managed to rise from the 9th circle (Antenora, for traitors to party) all the way up to Bolgia 6 of circle 8 (for hypocrites). Rather fitting that his tax holiday comes over the peak of flip-flop season, no?

Of course who needs honesty when you got greed on your side.

Your next president, John McCain.

Who needs a drink?