Top 5 films about boarding school

5. Class
The brat pack in one of their lesser films. You’ve got Andrew McCarthy bangin one of the original MILFs, Jaqueline Bisset.

4. Lost and Delirious
Piper Perabo vehicle about lesbianism and teen angst. If you made it past the first half of that sentence, good for you.

3. Outside Providence
Hilarious. Dumb as hell, and wildly uneven, but still hilarious. Go rent it, dildo.

2. Dead Poets’ Society
Duh. Everyone’s already seen it. Should have been Robin Williams’ Oscar turn, rather than the fat bearded version of Mr. Keating he trotted out in Good Will Hunting.

1. Toy Soldiers
Sean Astin battles terrorists who take over the school. Plus, the tough but fair headmaster is the dude from Iron Eagle (Louis Gossett, Jr.). Oh, and R. Lee Ermey too. Did I mention Wil Wheaton? I LOVE this film. It is to boarding school what Red Dawn is to the Cold War.

Honorable Mention:
X-Men films, which are decent, but in which the boarding school just isn’t central enough to the plot.
Harry Potter Films – boarding school very central, but I happen to have an irrational dislike of all things Potter
Scent of a Woman – If I were half the blogger I was back then, I’d take a flamethrower to this film. Hoo-AH!

A special holiday wish...

From special guest, Steve Martin.

Happy Holidays for your ears

So I was hoping this post would be about my recent two weeks in Spain. Alas, I have yet to pick up the new hard drive that will allow uploading of teh pics. So that'll have to wait. Instead, I'd like to take a moment to discuss something that resulted upon my return.

Yep, it's December.

I left pre-thanksgiving, and returned on December 2. This means that I was jarred straight into pre-xmas hell on my return, with none of the build up. Holiday shopping PR is already in full on blitzkreig mode. The worst part about holiday shopping season is the fucking music. I have a lifelong hatred of Xmas music, and this hatred is at its most virulent when some company bastardizes the words to some terrible fucking song to hock more shit that no one needs.

With that in mind, here's my top 5 holiday songs, all-time:

Top 5 Xmas Songs

1. Christmas at the Zoo – The Flaming Lips
2. Happy Xmas (War is Over) – John Lennon
3. I’m Fucking Santa – Lady Raptastic
4. Insert random Sufjan holiday song here
5. I don’t know, Silent Night or White Christmas or some shit that I barely tolerate.
∞. Grandma Got Runover By A Reindeer
∞+1. Jingle Bell Rock (yes, the Arcade Fire version too)

Finally, here's my holiday wish list:
1. matchbox lexus with a bigass red ribbon (reigning champion wish from past three years)
2. post-diamond bj with none of the "actual" diamond guilt or debt. (New ad campaign: "Zales. That'll shut her up").
3. Radiohead tickets
4. Portable/waterproof Ipod speakers
5. Sick professional chef's knife kit or a professional saucier or something like that.

Graduate School: pros and cons

Pro: Mo' Money
Con: Mo' Money, Mo' Problems
Edge: Pro. only a seriously rich fucker would write a song like that

Pro: R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Con: Debt. Stamps: $0.47ea, Application Fee: $50, GRE exam: $140, Tuition: $40,000
Edge: Pro. Or are you anti-freedom?

Pro: No dress code
Con: Down with homework!
Edge: Con. More homework = less drinking

Pro: Sleep late
Con: Stay up late
Edge: Pro. Sleep late = more drinking. Hmmmm....

Pro: Get to associate with recent college graduates (female)
Con: Must associate with recent college graduates (male)
Edge: Con. (plays engaged card)

Pro: Grades don’t matter
Con: Probably expected to remember shit you forgot a long time ago, like arithmetic
Edge: Con. Wasn’t forgetting long division the whole point of all that ganj?

Pro: Letters after your name
Con: Letters after name = need new business cards
Edge: Pro. More letters = bigger man.

Pro: Networking possibilities
Con: Less time possible for internetworking (aka pRon)
Edge: Con. (throws boobies. nothing beats boobies)

Pro: Sexy librarians
Con: Actual librarians
Edge: Pro. (ibid.)

Pro: Finally get to root for a Division I basketball team
Con: Graduate institution’s basketball team also sucks
Edge: Pro. More sports watching = more… well, you know.

Pro: A mind is a terrible thing to waste
Con: Time is an even worse thing to waste
Edge: Con.

Final Score: Pro 6, Con 5.

No, Hillary, NO!!!!

Hillary Clinton announced her presidential campaign song.
It's not exactly "Don't Stop Believin'"
yep. It's Celine.
Celine Freaking Dion.
The song was chosen via an open vote, beating finalists Shania Twain, U2, and Smashmouth.

Smashmouth?!

Off the top of my head, here's some songs that would have been a better choice:

1) ANY other song
2) No song.

Just for fun, here's my top presidential campaign theme songs. Add yours in the comments.


8. Hail to the Thief - Radiohead (kidding)
7. The Big Payback - James Brown (reserved for Al Gore should he ever get elected)
6. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta - Geto Boys
5. It's the end of the world as we know it - REM
4. Motion Movement - Blue Scholars
3. Huddle Formation - The Go! Team
2. War Pigs - I'd get Flaming Lips to perform their live cover
#1 with a bullet. Wake Up - Arcade Fire