Great news!

There's approximately 68,000 fewer assholes around today!

That's right - Philly lost that many people between 2000 and 2007, a drop second only to New Orleans. Which really isn't fair - that's like awarding MLB rookie of the year to a Japanese player in his 30s. Thus, I say we're the real #1 here.

I'm still a far cry from living George Carlin's dream of living on the beach, so "that way you're only surrounded by assholes on three sides," but still, today is a good day. 68,000 down, only 1,449,632 to go!

Attention single people!

Old and busted: Doing rails off the floor of L'Etage with Jersey chicks.

Soon to be hotness: Lunching at the Kimmel.

Congratulations to the Kimmel Center, for addressing a major problem, in the most ass way possible: six years too late.

Don't get me wrong. The Kimmel Center is a gorgeous building, and when it went up my first response was that it's nicer than Philly deserves. Early on in its life, I even took to eating a brown bag lunch up on the top floor under all the sunshine that streams in that unbelievably dramatic glass roof. But I haven't repeated those lunch trips in years. YEARS! Why? Cause yeah, the building is unwelcome as hell. You just don't feel like they want you in there when there's no concert going on, and it'll take more than replacing some bricks with glass and ropes with shamrocks to remedy that.

"Right now, blank brick walls run for long stretches on the Kimmel's three public sides, Broad, Spruce and 15th Streets. The few street-level windows that exist are either frosted or curtained. Worst of all, Vinoly squandered the site's greatest asset, its Broad Street corner. He marks the high-energy spot where the city's pedestrian grid converges with a dull, black granite cube that houses, of all things, a work room for the box office."

Making the Kimmel more welcoming to the public is a worthy proposition. I just wish they could've gotten it right the first time. And I fear that they'll get it wrong again. I get the distinct feeling the result will be more akin to the atmosphere at the outdoor tables at Bliss than the Roman Forum. Which is a shame. Publicly supported buildings such as the Kimmel should hold their role as public space as central to their mission.

Here's an idea- during the holiday season, get Santa in the atrium (I think Milton Street's available), holiday music playing all around (including pumped out into the streets), throw open the doors, and get the kids in there.

CasiNot So Fast

Nutter got my friday off on the right foot with his apparent decision to cock-smack the casinos right in their ugly mugs. No telling how this'll all end up, but for now, I give the Mayor three snaps up in a Z formation.

South Philly = Rhodes, cont...

So, you remember the previously posted here story about a pack of frothing idiots who think putting a couple 400 ft. towers at Broad and Washington will revitalize South Philadelphia.

Well, the same developer who wants to build those big steel phalli also annexed an entire sidewalk along South Street next to his nearly completed enormous eyesore monument to gentrification. To build a diabled access ramp for the 1st floor shops. That actually more closely resembles a terrace. That people in wheelchairs can't access, because, well, the sidewalk is too narrow for wheelchairs. Because of the access ramp this idiot built. Without zoning approval. Do yourself a favor: don't read those sentences again, or think about them too much - it can cause brain damage.

Of course, brain damage would qualify you for a seat on Philadelphia's city council, right down the row from Frank DiCicco, spokesman for hubristic developers everywhere.

In short,

DiCicco = dickbag.

Samir Benakmoume = Napoleon w/ a smaller penis and more VD.

Streets Department = chickenshit.

Wheelchair bound people = fucked.

South Street and 13th = deathtrap.

Rich, white tenants of the good ship = happy w/ a terrace (ramp) that they'll probably never use, cause then they'd have to sit within view of people who have a different skin tone than them.

South Philly = Rhodes

Whoo hoo!

Apparently, my 'hood is about to become the fancy, bona fide doorway to center city that everyone wants it to be.

Wait, did I say everyone? I meant, ALMOST NO ONE.

Notice that this collossal monument of hubris is brought to you by none other than Frank DiCicco, local councilman. This is precisely my problem w/ DiCicco. He's blatantly pro-business, pro-development, pro-whatever will line his district and pockets with more $. And he is so at the expense of the opinions of the people he represents.

While there's nothing at all wrong with being pro-casino, or pro-development, or pro-this-new-project, having that stance when it directly conflicts with the overwhelming majority of the people you represent is NOT ok. It's not democracy. Yes, he later changed course on the casino deal, but never forget that he was one of the biggest proponents of the deal at first. I can imagine him changing his stance on this come next election cycle, but meanwhile everything he's done since the election demonstrates his total disdain for his constituency. He's a piece of shit.

And, speaking of pieces of shit...
Fear not, young Fado dwellers! Roofie coolattas are back on the menu.

Here endeth the rant.