Food Review – TIME

Head to head matchup between health code violator and beer drinker’s heaven, Ludwig’s Bier Garten, and TIME, which replaced it and opened last night.

Waitstaff
Ludwig’s: Hot hipsters and thickly-accented buxom European lasses in cleavage-baring dresses, who took forever to bring you your beer.

TIME: Villanova fratboys who take forever to bring you your beer.

Massive hetero advantage: Ludwig’s.
Massive extend-the-gayborhood-northward advantage: TIME

Bar surface
Ludwig’s: Ancient and somewhat decrepit wooden bar.

TIME: Cheap ass Ikea wood painted black.

Advantage: Ludwig’s

Décor
Ludwig’s: Soccer flags, peeling paint and picnic tablecloths

TIME: Rich mahogany and sleek modern tones.

Advantage: TIME

Beer list
Ludwig’s: The best German beer in the city, if not the nation. Only reliable source of Rauschbier in the city.

TIME: Decent, if less-than-unique collection, including a handful of the most common German, Belgian, and British beers, as well as a few American ales (incl. Bell’s Two Hearted, my current favorite).

Advantage: Ludwig’s

Other booze
Ludwig’s:
Marge: I'll just have a cup of coffee.
Bartender: Beer, it is.
Marge: No, I said "coffee".
Bartender: "Beer?”
Marge: [slowly] Coff-ee.
Bartender: Be-er?
Marge: C -- O --
Bartender: B -- E --

TIME: Whisky whisky whisky. Hoo boy do they have a lot of whisky. Much of it good. Granddad also available. Advice to TIME ownership – get a TIME take on the citywide special going – Granddad and a Yard’s Philly Pale = victory.

HUGE advantage: TIME

Price
Ludwig’s: Prohibitive, except during late night happy hour. The longer you stay, the more you can afford to get plastered.

TIME: Even more expensive than Ludwig’s. No late night happy hour.

Advantage: Ludwig’s.

Clientele
Ludwig’s: Ecclectic assortment, reflective of Philly as a whole (at least the white part of Philly). South/NE blue collar guys screaming at the Phillies, bike messengers and other assorted hipsters, lawyers. Of course, usually not that many people in general in the last year or two, as the crowd had moved to Good Dog.

TIME: Dooooooooooouche.

Advantage: Good Dog.

Food
Ludwig's: Delicious spetzel. Potato pancakes. Wurst.

TIME: Didn’t have it, but the bread comes with a revolting little tri-sectioned platter containing a piped flower of butter, a puddle of olive oil and a truly disturbing pile of a mustard-looking substance that would look more at home in a baby’s diaper than on a plate.

Advantage: Ludwig’s

The Final Countdown: Ludwig’s 4, TIME 2.