Fuck Vampire Weekend

Much like Jeff's hatred of Slap Your Glans Say Bleahhh, I just don't fucking get the hype. This band is fucking terrible. It's the worst kind of precious, twee shit. It's double worse for being constantly aware of its own preciousness. Go fuck yourselves in the earholes with rusty lobster hooks, you pathetic hipster douchebags.

Thank you KEXP

On Monday, I received a receipt documenting another installment of my annual donation to KEXP Seattle, praised in this space and elsewhere as the greatest radio station in the world.

Then, I came into work to a new computer, that magically can stream their audio live, in perfect quality, with no buffering stupidity (which was a problem on my previous machine).

Suffice to say, I've been listening all week thus far, and have learned a few things:

1) We were promised jetpacks = greatest band name ever. Though really it would work better as an album title. Still, awesome name. Their song Quiet Little Voices is anything but quiet, and is good.

2) Working for a Nuclear Free City = unfortunately named band out of manchester. They sound like the result of a focus group conducted in my high school memories, updated to modern day pop-crunch (aka, lots of Stone Roses, Jesus and Mary Chain influence). Their song Nancy Adam Susan (what's with the terrible names, people?) is the shit. I can't believe I didn't pick up on this when it came out last year.

3) Yep, KEXP is awesome, and if you live in Seattle or New York, you should feel very very lucky they're on your airwaves. If you don't, but have a cubicle, get yourself some decent headphones!

Best song of the year - early candidates

Opening Act, by Drive By Truckers (lyric of the year: "And I’m driving north as the sun was rising over a Technicolor horizon")

Unforgettable Season, by Cut Copy (dance song of the year)

Probably something off the new Black Angels - Doves, maybe? (best use of reverb since what's the frequency kenneth?)

Devastatin Dave Presents: The Worst Song of the Year contest

Our first nominee for 2008: Sharp Drest, by Mochipet.


Sweet lord this song is fucking terrible.


Devastatin Dave, on the other hand, is amazing.

Got a nominee? Put it in the comments. We'll revisit this at the end of the year.

Chin Up

Yes, Hillary is still in the race, and many think that'll hurt the Dems come the general election.

And yes, McCain is looking stronger than ever, and I grow more and more terrified with each passing day.

But all is not lost, and Arcade Fire, the poster boys for youthful optimism in the face of overwhelming fear and loathing, are coming soon to rock out North Cackalacky. The best part? The shows are free, and are get out the vote rallies for Obama.

I'm moved to recall the words of David Rees, following the disastrous 2004 election:

"CHIN UP. We're smarter than those motherfuckers.
We can learn more quickly than those motherfuckers.
We can be more ruthless than those motherfuckers.
We can be some six-million-dollar motherfuckers ourselves.

Chin up. We're more American than those motherfuckers.
We're more responsible than those motherfuckers.
We're more compassionate than those motherfuckers.
Hell, our atheists are more Christian than their Bible-thumpin' motherfuckers.
There's an election in two years. There's nothing we can't do.
Chin up. Because it's on, motherfuckers. It is on."

Optimism Comes in No Greater Form than the Humble Meatball

For visual evidence that I make some durn good ones, I present exhibit A:

Ingredients:

Ground turkey

Crushed red pepper

A fistful of fresh rosemary, minced

Cayenne pepper

Paprika

Carmelized onions, minced

Salt and pepper

Saute until golden brown on all sides (yes, in my kitchen, spheres have sides), finish in the oven covered in tin foil.

Serve over a big bowl of pasta, with the greatest tomato sauce in the world (recipe forthcoming), and a generous amount of parmigiano reggiano.

Now go vote!

Why McCain will win

This is what I've been so scared of. McCain is calling for a mid-summer gas-tax holiday.

Most Americans are greedy, simple people. While I'd argue that HIGHER gas taxes is what we need, McCain will appeal to their sense of immediate self-gratification with his mid-summer gas tax holiday (will there be hallmark cards? Parades of SUVs? Sweet rave parties with sexy gasoline fights like in Zoolander?).

"All these tax increases are the fine print under the slogan of 'hope:' They're going to raise your taxes by thousands of dollars per year — and they have the audacity to hope you don't mind."

Messaging like that is why Republicans are better at politics than Dems.

"McCain twice voted against the very tax cuts he now supports; he says failing to extend them would amount to tax increases for millions of people."

Welcome to the pit, Johnny Mac! You've managed to rise from the 9th circle (Antenora, for traitors to party) all the way up to Bolgia 6 of circle 8 (for hypocrites). Rather fitting that his tax holiday comes over the peak of flip-flop season, no?

Of course who needs honesty when you got greed on your side.

Your next president, John McCain.

Who needs a drink?