They're Happy...

These just came across my desk. I have NOTHING to add.
Amazing. And yes, these are all real.

Graduate School: pros and cons

Pro: Mo' Money
Con: Mo' Money, Mo' Problems
Edge: Pro. only a seriously rich fucker would write a song like that

Pro: R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Con: Debt. Stamps: $0.47ea, Application Fee: $50, GRE exam: $140, Tuition: $40,000
Edge: Pro. Or are you anti-freedom?

Pro: No dress code
Con: Down with homework!
Edge: Con. More homework = less drinking

Pro: Sleep late
Con: Stay up late
Edge: Pro. Sleep late = more drinking. Hmmmm....

Pro: Get to associate with recent college graduates (female)
Con: Must associate with recent college graduates (male)
Edge: Con. (plays engaged card)

Pro: Grades don’t matter
Con: Probably expected to remember shit you forgot a long time ago, like arithmetic
Edge: Con. Wasn’t forgetting long division the whole point of all that ganj?

Pro: Letters after your name
Con: Letters after name = need new business cards
Edge: Pro. More letters = bigger man.

Pro: Networking possibilities
Con: Less time possible for internetworking (aka pRon)
Edge: Con. (throws boobies. nothing beats boobies)

Pro: Sexy librarians
Con: Actual librarians
Edge: Pro. (ibid.)

Pro: Finally get to root for a Division I basketball team
Con: Graduate institution’s basketball team also sucks
Edge: Pro. More sports watching = more… well, you know.

Pro: A mind is a terrible thing to waste
Con: Time is an even worse thing to waste
Edge: Con.

Final Score: Pro 6, Con 5.

A Chicken in Every Pot and a Child in Every E.R.

Looks like President Bush is just about ready to Veto legislation that would provide expand funding for the State Children’s Health Insurance Program which provides health insurance at no- or low-cost to children of families that otherwise couldn’t afford it. Of course, health insurance is pretty expensive, in part because people who do not receive the preventative care that can keep them from developing expensive-to-treat chronic diseases later in life. They don’t receive preventative care, because, well, they have no health insurance, and have to rely on the ER for care.

Given how expensive covering kids would be, how would we pay for it? Well, by raising the cigarette tax. Makes sense to me, given the huge cost incurred by smokers on the nation’s Medicare system (funded by you and me). But not to Bush.

Apparently, he’d prefer to keep millions of kids out of care, so that they grow up with brains damaged by lead poisoning, unable to secure decent jobs except – surprise! – in the armed forces*. Of course, while those kids are waiting for hours in the ER for care, why not have them enjoy a refreshing, tasty Camel?

* not in any way meant as a slight to our fighting men and women, merely a statement of fact that the armed forces is one of the US’s employment safety nets. Much like prison and drug dealing, only less violent.

Send lawyers, guns, and Elmo?

Looking for a fun, family activity for this weekend?

Have you considered Sesame Place? No? What, do you hate freedom?

The only thing more American than overpriced theme parks smelling vaguely of urine is the 2nd Amendment.

Charlton Heston, also smelling of urine.

And the NRA is to the 2nd Amendment what Sesame Place is to family fun.

That's right. Right now, if you go to the NRA's website and donate funds, you can get free passes to Sesame Place. Of course, the tickets weren't purchased by NRA, but donated by Anheuser-Busch, which owns Sesame Place. Cause, after all, what's family fun and guns without booze? A day without sunshine, that's what.

Yes, no, yes.

Of course, Coors' right wing leanings have been well documented (even if the depth of their evil has been a bit exaggerated), but I wasn't aware that the makers of Budweiser also support the gun lobby. What will they say when they see their poster boy happily promoting a (shudder) craft brewer?

Side note: Flying Fish Farmhouse Summer Ale (pictured) is delicious.

So, your options for this weekend are clear:

Donate to the NRA, buy some Bud, and go to Sesame Place to work on your ulcer.

Donate to the FCNL, buy some Farmhouse, and go to the beach to oogle some boogles.

I trust you'll make the right decision.

YES!!!

The best thing I've seen in weeks.
For me, this is better than football in the groin. It's gold.

I'm a bad person.

Bravo, Prince Charles

It's nice to see that even royalty can be human.